When the supply of emotional value within marriage falls into imbalance, AI quietly steps in, giving rise to a new model of emotional support within intimate relationships. Image generated by AI

Today, artificial intelligence (AI) is steadily insinuating itself into the most intimate sphere of social life: marriage. A growing number of spouses turn to AI tools to air their grievances, and some even come to see them as more dependable emotional confidants than the partners beside them. In this emerging landscape, AI assumes the role of a compensatory presence, stepping into the emotional voids in the relationship. The pressing question, then, is whether this technological mediation can genuinely act as a “restorative agent” for strained relationships—or whether it quietly acts as a “catalyst,” accelerating emotional estrangement.

The quality of emotional perception, expression, and feedback between spouses directly reflects the resilience and warmth of a marriage. However, factors such as workplace pressures and personal challenges continually erode marriage’s capacity to provide mutual emotional support: Emotional exhaustion after overtime work diminishes patience for listening; differences in communication styles create barriers to empathy; prolonged conflict drains both partners emotionally. When the supply of emotional value within marriage falls into imbalance, AI quietly steps in, giving rise to a new model of emotional support within intimate relationships.

Addressing emotional needs in marriage

Unlike human emotional support grounded in genuine affective resonance, AI operates as an “algorithm-driven functional simulation.” It does not possess authentic emotion, but through technological mechanisms it can address emotional needs with striking precision, enabling emotional regulation across multiple dimensions.

First, AI offers nonjudgmental listening, serving as a “safe confidant” for emotional release. Second, through cognitive guidance, it effectively assumes the role of an “emotional regulation coach.” Third, AI can function as a neutral intermediary in relationship repair. Fourth, by providing continuous emotional responses, it delivers highly personalized compensation—akin to a “personalized supply of emotional value”—for emotional deficits.

AI’s involvement in marital emotional life essentially represents a two-way alignment between human emotional needs and machine functionality. Individuals project their feelings and expectations onto AI, producing a real-world “Pygmalion effect,” while simultaneously reshaping their understanding of emotional value within marriage. At the same time, AI systems refine their simulations of human emotional patterns through ongoing data-driven learning, forming a closed loop of “demand–response.”

In marital counseling, practitioners often emphasize four elements of emotional responsiveness: attention, understanding, acceptance, and support. AI reconfigures these elements in subtle ways. “Attention” is no longer confined to face-to-face eye contact; immediate AI feedback can likewise generate a sense of being noticed and valued. “Understanding” need not rely on deep spousal empathy; algorithms can capture emotional keywords and provide surface-level recognition. Many married individuals remark that, since their spouse is not adept at offering emotional support, they prefer to use AI as a supplement. This illustrates a typical adaptive alignment between marital emotional value and AI functionality.

Emotional connection is a fundamental human need, and the stable affective responses provided by AI partially satisfy this demand. When emotional bonds within marriage weaken, AI’s involvement may prevent individuals from sinking into loneliness and helplessness, preserving room for relationship repair. However, such involvement carries the risk of emotional-cognitive alienation: Individuals may conflate algorithmically simulated “pseudo-responses” with authentic emotional support, potentially distorting their expectations and understanding of the nature of intimate relationships.

Value, risks of AI’s involvement

AI’s functional substitution in the provision of marital emotional value creates a delicate “value equilibrium” that requires careful calibration. While it opens new avenues for marital repair, it also tests human commitment to intimacy.

Restorative value: “pressure valve” and “growth tools” for marriage. For marriages in which emotional support mechanisms have become dysfunctional, AI’s involvement can produce notable restorative effects. First, stable emotional support may reduce anxiety and depression, enabling individuals to engage in marital interaction more rationally and decreasing conflicts triggered by emotional instability. Second, AI can serve as a “transitional bridge” in relationship repair. In marriages marked by severe communication breakdown, it may help partners regulate their emotions and learn effective communication techniques, creating more favorable conditions for face-to-face dialogue. Third, interaction with AI can enhance self-awareness. Conversations with AI may prompt individuals to examine their own emotional patterns and communicative habits—an essential precondition for improving marital quality.

Deconstructive risks: emotional estrangement and the objectification of intimacy. Emotional estrangement constitutes one of the gravest risks to marriage. When individuals redirect their emotional needs toward AI, the emotional energy invested in their spouse may diminish, and marriage risks devolving from an “emotional community” into merely a “community of obligation,” or even a purely formal union. While AI can offer superficial companionship and responsiveness, it cannot replicate the depth of empathy and intellectual resonance characteristic of human connection. Long-term reliance on AI may gradually erode one’s ability to perceive genuine intimacy. Furthermore, intimate relationships risk becoming “objectified.” One-sided, extractive interaction with AI may foster a habit of gratification without reciprocity, dulling sensitivity to a spouse’s emotional needs and reducing intimacy to a “functional exchange.” In addition, ethical and privacy concerns—including data security, algorithmic bias, and cognitive distortion—introduce additional layers of risk.

AI’s involvement in marital life is a natural outcome of the interaction between technological evolution and contemporary forms of marriage. Nevertheless, it should be recognized that the emotional value provided by AI is algorithmically driven and functionally simulated, lacking the subjectivity and reciprocal responsiveness intrinsic to human emotion. It can never replace the authentic bond between spouses, grounded in love and responsibility. As such, AI should be regarded as a temporary “emotional buffer,” not a permanent “emotional destination.”

Li Tao is a professor from the School of Humanities at Xi’an Shiyou University, and a distinguished research fellow from the Shaanxi Federation of Social Sciences Circles.